Brazil & Benske, LLC

Maintaining your focus during divorce: A few pointers

In Milwaukee, divorce is one life event that is not always welcomed or planned. If you have recently learned that your spouse wants a divorce, you are probably struggling to get a grip on the overwhelming emotions you are feeling. If you have kids with your spouse, you may also feel overwhelmed with stress and frustration. 

Negative feelings create toxic environments, and it is very common for couples to change and become angry about their separations. If you feel like arguing and bashing your soon-to-be-ex-partner, you could end up sabotaging your divorce. It is important to for you to learn how to manage any negative feelings you may feel during your divorce, so you do not make poor decisions that make post-divorce life more challenging to transition through for you and your children. Here are some suggestions: 

Think of the kids 

Divorce is often a traumatic time that many children end up blaming themselves for. Parents do not realize how disturbing their unruly divorce behavior affects their kids. Without proper support, attention and a nurturing environment, children who do not understand their feelings about their family’s changing dynamic and routine end up acting out or experience challenges in their own relationships as they grow older. 

Take care of yourself 

Placing your children first does not mean that you must sacrifice your health and well-being. If you do not take care of yourself, you may lose focus during negotiations and end up with an unfavorable outcome. Make sure you eat and get enough rest. If you or your children are struggling with the divorce, get counseling. Consider therapy even if you believe you feel fine about the matter. Do not forget about your social and personal health. Make time to hang out with some friends or go to the gym or school to better yourself and help stay balanced. 

Learn to cooperate and communicate 

You might not have many pleasant things to say about your spouse, but you must make every effort to remain calm and focused on the bigger picture. A clear head can enable you to think of alternative solutions and bargaining chips that you can use to help you get more of what you want out of the divorce. If you are always quarreling with your spouse, you could end up receiving less in the settlement. 

Some divorces are full of drama and bickering, but many are settled amicably. You and your spouse are in control of your divorce. With the right attitude, strategy and support, you can reduce the amount of stress and negative feelings you might have.

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