Brazil & Benske, LLC

Find help to rebuild yourself after the divorce

No matter how great or how modest the divorce settlement was, you will proceed into unfamiliar territory by yourself, no longer as part of a couple.

You may be nervous about facing the future as a newly minted single person, but you do not have to go it alone. Here are four tips to help you rebuild yourself after divorce.

1. Take time to sort out your feelings

No matter how you feel about your divorce--sad, hurt, guilty, relieved--you must now sort through your emotions so that you can put them behind you and move on. Do not dwell on what you did, what your ex-spouse did or how different the marriage could have been. Divorce is a loss. A part of your life is over, but a new part is just beginning.

2. Rediscover yourself but make room for the new you

Who were you before you married? What were you like? What did you give up for your spouse? Rediscover that person while making room to discover a new side of yourself. This can be very exciting.

3. Find the upside of being alone

Solitude can be comforting. As a divorced person, you will be joining 30 million people in the U.S. who live alone, but this does not mean isolating yourself. Enjoy the many possibilities of exploring new hobbies, meeting new people or feeling comfortable just dining alone at your favorite restaurant.

4. Seek help from professionals

Perhaps your former spouse handled all the finances during your marriage. You never even had to balance the checkbook--until now. Thanks to property division, you might have a retirement account to think about, a vacation home to manage and a sensible monthly budget to develop with the alimony you received. Do not hesitate to seek help. For example, your family law attorney understands your concerns and will be able to help you explore options and put you in touch with any other professionals you might need to assist with the interesting process of rebuilding yourself after divorce.

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